Epiphany
by Sorrow Reminisce
Summary: Are Max and Alec on the edge of an epiphany? Or merely looking to scratch an itch?
1. For Argument's Sake

Author Note: While going through my old fics in search of something I might feel inspired to finish (at last), I found this lil' fic which was penned back in 2004. Somehow I had forgotten all about it, though it had been written as a second chapter/ follow on to one of my previous fics, Gradually Falling. I've reworked it so it can be read separately from Gradually Falling, and split it into a couple of chapters. I hope there's someone still out there in the fandom who might enjoy it. :)

Summary: Are Max and Alec on the edge of an epiphany? Or merely looking to scratch an itch?

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**Epiphany**

**By Sorrow**

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"There's something about this bar that just doesn't do it for me, and it's not the music." Alec stared mournfully into his handle of beer before adding, "Or lack of."

Since the standoff at Jam Pony had catapulted Max and Alec into headline news, Crash was off limits, and until Alec could figure out a way to get a regular supply of alcohol into Terminal City, he and Max had taken to meeting their friends at a dingy little bar in Sector Nine, whenever they could smuggle themselves out of the radioactive corner of Seattle they now called home.

The place was a dump, but the merits to Sector Nine was that most people went out of their way to avoid noticing one another. Getting through the back roads was a risk, especially now that the sewers were under constant patrol and no longer an option, but they were willing to take a chance every now and then if it meant getting a moment's break from Terminal City.

"Well let's see Alec, could it be that the woman here aren't taken in by your baby-faced charm?" Max's tone was condescending. After a hard afternoon of arguing with Mole over the best way to step up their supply run, she wanted to sit back and enjoy a beer, not listen to Alec whinge.

"Could be." Alec drained back the last of the luke-warm liquid from his glass, then glanced at Max and grinned at her expression. "Hey come on, just because _you've_ taken a vow of celibacy, doesn't mean the rest of us can't experience perfectly normal urges to get busy with a member of the opposite sex.." Glancing to Original Cindy, he added with a shrug, "or same sex, if that's your thing."

"Just shut up Alec." Max scowled into her glass and turned away, finding everything about her surroundings irritating tonight. The bar was hot and stuffy, and not surprisingly, Alec was getting on her wick more so than usual. With the way he kept making flirty-eyes at every girl who glanced in his direction - and she had to admit was every trashy hoe in their vicinity was returning his gaze – she felt like the only woman in the world impervious to his charms. Not saying that was a problem, but his words had irked her more so than usual. She didn't want to know about any of Alec's 'urges'. Hell, she didn't want to be wasting her night thinking of Alec at all.

"Max!"

Startled, Max's head snapped up and she found herself confronted by the intense hazel eyes of the very man she'd been trying to pretend she wasn't thinking about. "What?"

"I've been saying your name for the past minute, and you're so lost in thought you haven't noticed. What's up with you tonight?" Alec's concern caught Max off-guard. Which only served to piss her off further. Why couldn't he just stay in his role of 'smart ass' and stop trying to break the mould?

"I'm fine!" The pitch of her voice raised to accompany the defensive stance. "I'm just thinking about supply runs is all."

"Supply runs? Huh." Incredulous, Alec lifted an eyebrow as he idly scratched his head. "Supply runs have you off in dreamland and all crankier than usual?"

"Yeah. It's been a long day." Max rubbed a hand across her face before continuing to tap a beat upon the table, suddenly awkward at the realisation that the two of them alone occupied the table. She glanced about in search of Original Cindy, and inwardly groaned as she spotted her chatting up a leggy blonde in a corner, completely oblivious to any attempt on Max's part to telepathically signal her back to the table so she wouldn't have to endure Alec on her own.

"Oh yeah I get it, you have those days _every_ day Max." Alec winked at her, knowing the gesture would piss her off as he leant his head in to whisper, "if you weren't a transgenic, I'd figure you in a permanent state of PMS or something. I mean, you're like the Godzilla of –"

Alec stopped in mid-sentence when he realised Max wasn't paying any attention to his playful attempts to goad her into an argument for the sake of his own amusement. Instead she was again staring vaguely into the distance.

Puzzled, Alec felt a moment's disappointment. Usually Max was up for a bit of banter – much as she liked to pretend it annoyed her – but tonight she just wasn't giving. Whatsoever. In fact, now that Alec stopped to think about it, she'd been indifferent towards him for the past couple days. Usually the verbal jabs he poked at her expense would at least provoke a thump on the arm, a faux scowl – even a laugh if he was particularly lucky. But all week long his jokes had fallen flat. Had he said something to push his friend too far?

Mentally playing back every conversation they'd had through the week, Alec tried to figure out where things had gone screwy. He hadn't told so many filthy jokes or witty recounts of his past lays in the presence of Max lately.. Maybe that was the problem? Maybe she _liked_ having an excuse to be angry with him? Maybe the girl really was only happy when she had someone to harbour resentment against?

Dismayed at the thought of being forever cast in the bad guy role, Alec thought of how he'd comforted Max about Ben. That night, he thought something had changed in her eyes – that maybe _he'd_ changed in her eyes. She had looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. Not the guy who wore Ben's face and who reminded her of the darkest hours of her life, but as Alec; the guy who could lend her strength when she needed it. The guy who she'd leant against when all her chips were down. The guy who's shoulder she had cried upon.

Maybe he'd been wrong in confronting her over Logan, and reminding her of the guilt she felt over deceiving him. Deceiving them both, really. Not that she'd cared for his feelings when she was letting Logan believe they were together. It was always about Logan. And he was always the one who'd come between them. Even when he wasn't trying.

He wanted her to look at him. To acknowledge that he had changed from the soulless 'smart alec' she had once judged him to be. To accept him as a friend. But she was still gazing into space with an expression on her face that bordered on wistful. He didn't know what was up with his friend tonight, but he didn't think it was the most efficient way to get commodities into Terminal city.

"Earth to Max?"

Nothing. Not even a blink. Alec stood from his bar stool and stepped in front of her, one hand laying overtop of the hand that was rapping out a beat on the table, the other lightly touching her jaw to tilt her face towards him. She jumped at the touch and looked to him in startlement, a blush rising quickly to her cheeks, which perplexed Alec even more.

"What do you want?" Pulling her hand out from beneath his own, Max's dark frown caused Alec to take a step back, realising he'd made the mistake of touching the girl who preferred to remain untouchable. Even to those who weren't in danger of catching DNA-targeted diseases.

"Look, you wanna get going? It's kinda pointless being here tonight, don't you think? And to be honest, you don't look so well."

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I spoiling your night?"

Max's voice was glacial and Alec bit back the urge to tell her to stick it where the sun don't shine. He was sick to death of her always making him feel like the bad guy, even when she was the one with the problem.

"Whatever Max. I'm sorry that I pulled myself out of my selfish one-track male mind long enough to care about whatever over-dramatised little problem you're dealing with today." See, there was his big mouth. Going off at her even when he was willing it to shut the hell up.

Max looked at him for a long moment, unsure whether to take their argument any further or let it go, knowing it wouldn't be playful banter this time. Instead she grabbed her jacket, told him not to follow her and headed for the exit. Leaving a flabbergasted Alec staring in her wake, an expression of surprise and dismay upon his features.

**l lll ll**

"Original Cindy gives you two a bit of alone time, and ya chase away my Boo?"

Alec turned to see their Jam Pony friend standing behind him, and he looked at her quizzically. "Why would Max and I need 'alone time'?"

OC rolled her eyes and smacked her handle down on the table as she took at seat, her lips pursed in a manner that indicated she knew far more about Alec and Max's friendship, than Alec and Max did. "You two may be fooling each other, but you don't fool Original Cindy."

Alec paused, his mouth open and his eyebrows furrowed, perplexed as he tried to work out where the girl was going with this. "I really don't know where you're going with this OC. We're not fooling anyone?"

Smirking with satisfaction, Cindy tilted her glass in Alec's direction as if in a toast and merely replied, "My point."

Cradling his head in his hands, he sighed dramatically before rolling his eyes to the ceiling. "Woman! Why can I never get a straight answer outta any of you?"

"See now, that's exactly why I'm not straight – no one knows a woman, like a woman." Winking, Original Cindy patted her friend on the head, understanding the poor boy was a slave to his genes, as she'd said so many times before.

It wasn't often – if ever – that Alec was alone at a table with Original Cindy, and while ordinarily he would put Max's latest issue with him out of his head and move on, tonight he decided it wouldn't hurt to ask the one person who probably knew Max's mind better than any, what her dealio was. And why she'd begun shooting him down more vigorously than ever.

Cindy shook her head and laughed as he broached the subject. "Boy, I'd smack you upside the head but your skull's so thick, you probably wouldn't feel it."

Alec's face fell, why was everyone so quick to brush him aside lately? "I'm worried about her, that's all. She's under a lot of stress and… well you know…" He faltered, personal heart to hearts relating to concern for another's welfare weren't exactly his specialty.

"Why do you care?" It could've been a simple question, or an accusation. By the tone of Cindy's voice, Alec wasn't too sure which. He opened his mouth to speak before glancing sheepishly down at his hands and changing his mind. What did it matter anyway? No one ever took him seriously.

"Oh no no no!" Sniffing out the possibility for some kind of confession, Original Cindy grinned and shoved Alec lightly. "You got something to say, so spit it out before I slap it out."

Her hand poised above his shoulder, challenging him to protest. Hastily, Alec decided invoking the fury of two females in one night would be outdoing his quota. "Okay, okay!"

The hand began to move away. "But there's nothing to spill." Wincing as the hand connected with his shoulder, Alec quickly revised his denial tactic. "I mean, you've noticed Max's acting weird lately, right?"

Original Cindy considered him for a minute, her eyes narrowing as she suspected he was still trying to deflect her. "Far as Original Cindy can see, you both been acting weird lately. Around_ each other_."

Now her eyes narrowed further as a new thought came to mind. "Is there something going on between the two of you that this girl hasn't been made aware of?"

"No!" Alec almost squealed at her implication. "C'mon OC, you know we're not like that!"

"Like I haven't heard that before" Original Cindy muttered as she rolled her eyes. "Then correct me. What's going on? Or maybe I should ask, what's _not_ going on?"

His shoulders slumping in defeat, Alec signalled the barman for another round. The glass in his hand wasn't finished yet, but he felt it was going to be a long night.

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Having made it back to her dilapidated apartment as quickly and inconspicuously as possible, Max now pushed shut the partially-hinged door behind her and leant her head against the frame before taking a deep and steady breath, and sliding down to the floor. She felt sick. Her stomach was squirming, her skin was flushed, and it was so hot - so hot in the room.

Briefly, she wondered if she should have stayed at the bar and waited for Alec. They were supposed to travel in pairs when beyond TC's perimeter. Rules she herself had insisted upon, following the fate of Biggs. But being around Alec was doing her head in. Always bugging her with his incessant babble. Besides, he would've ended up hitting on someone and leaving without her. Probably the redhead at the next table who'd been making eyes at him all night. She would've had to watch him charm her with his 'sincere eyes' and pouty smirk all brimming with ego. Watch him touch his hands softly to her back and trail them lightly down her spine before leading her out into the night... Leaving her alone. Untouchable. _Celibate_, as he so blatantly put it.

Not that she cared.

Why the hell was she thinking about Alec again anyway?

Angry and frustrated for no good reason, Max ran a hand over her face and found her palm covered in a thin layer of perspiration. A prickle of concern edged its way into her mind. She felt warm, tingly. Right under her skin. Her body was beginning to ache, but not in a bad way… Groaning aloud, Max hoped she was coming down with something. Transgenics rarely fell ill, but she wasn't gonna rule out the chance of Terminal City's toxic waste spill penetrating her high immune system and knocking her down with yet another incurable disease. Fat chance, but there was always hope. There had to be some other explanation for what she was beginning to suspect.

Rising to her feet, Max crossed the room to the tiny beer fridge on the opposite side of the room. Swinging it open, she grabbed a container of filtered water and pulled back the lid, swigging a few mouthfuls before splashing the rest over her. Shuddering at the chill, she realised it was perhaps a little early to be dousing fires. The symptoms weren't bad yet; tingly skin aside, she was hardly trembling with the desire to launch herself out onto the street in hunt of someone who could help her scratch an all-consuming itch. It was still early stages. That meant there was still time to escape Terminal City and find some kind of refuge. Away from transgenics who might pick up the vibe she was no doubt sending. Away from _him_.

Because she realised what her problem was now – why she couldn't get Alec off her mind. And it wasn't that he'd won her over with his endearing charm, his playful eyes, or the occasional tender expression he caught her off-guard with when he thought she wasn't looking. It wasn't because he'd proven himself to be a loyal friend and a trustworthy reliable kind of guy.

It was because three times tonight, she'd caught herself thinking about that day she turned up at his place to find him clad in nothing but a blue towel. It was because she'd spent the past few hours mentally undressing him further, even when he was standing right next to her blabbering away, oblivious to her thoughts.

There was no other explanation for it.

She was going into heat.

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_End Note: Chapter two up shortly. It's all written up and ready to go! _

_No really, I mean it this time, unlike all those other times in the past when I've promised a conclusion, and then returned five years later to update another story entirely..._


	2. The One Sided Conversation

A/N: Thanks for the feedback! It's so nice to see familiar faces (names… whatever) as well as new ones. Astra – Ah I'm so glad to see you here! I miss the good old days of The Broken World, and our all-hours MSN convos about life, the universe, and the many qualities of Ames White… *nom*

I've been rewatching season 2 a lot this week, and recapping on all those scenes I had completely forgotten. Tonight it was Borrowed Time. Always overlooked that one (blue towel scene asides) but wow, all the innuendos about Alec's feelings for Max (the Crash scene with Asha!), and Max's reluctance to get groiny with Logan (because obviously she was over him and just refused to accept it) had me screaming "why why why couldn't we have a Season 3!?" like the howling madwoman that I am...

Ah, anyway, I'm totally rambling. On with the fic. Hope you enjoy. :)

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**Epiphany**

**By Sorrow**

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Max decided the best course of action would be to get away from Terminal City until she was back on track. Who knew if she might wind up with every male transgenic in TC yowling like Tom cats outside her window? Grabbing her backpack, she threw in a few essentials. In moments she was ready to leave. Now all that remained was to make it to OC's, where she'd stay a few days until she could cold shower this bitch out of her system. As her hand touched the doorknob, a new thought entered her mind. People would notice her absence. What if they thought she'd been apprehended on her way home from the bar? What if they sent out a search party and got their own arses captured for no good reason? Impatiently, she cast about for a pen and paper. Best to leave a message.

Again she stopped herself. What if Alec found the note and came looking for her? A slow grin came to Max's lips at the thought, but she quickly forced it into a grimace. There was no doubting it; she had to get out of here _now_.

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"So let me get this straight. You told my boo she should be workin' things out with Logan?" Original Cindy leaned back in her seat and shook her head in disbelief.

Misunderstanding her cynicism, Alec's response was a defensive one. "Look, I'm sick of being pinned as the bad guy. Max has been shootin' me down since the first moment we met, and no matter how much I try to prove otherwise, she always sees me as a screw up. I just wanted to do something that would help, that's all. Well, that, and I'm sick of seeing her mope about like a kicked puppy."

"And you think _that's_ her problem?"

"That's her problem." Alec shrugged, before adding, "Least, that's her _latest_ problem…"

Original Cindy smiled in understanding. She was well aware of how hard Max was on Alec, and how more often than not, the boy simply didn't deserve it. But she also knew her sista well enough to recognise when the girl was covering up something she was trying to deny to herself. As she'd said to her once already, 'sugar, you got issues'. Cindy felt she knew what was going on here better than her friends did. Since Max had moved to Terminal City, her contact with Logan had faded away. Most times, she was so busy helping to organise TC, she hardly even noticed. Even that lovesick look on her face had faded, and taken with it some of the moodiness that comes of wanting something you were never destined to have.

Until recently.

More and more these days, Max worked side-by-side with Alec. He had a great rapport with TC's transgenics, and had helped her to establish the respect of those who had been hardest on the 'turncoat' who'd burned Manticore down. Max had even gone so far as to admit this, when the boy was out of earshot. There'd been a hint of admiration in Max's voice, and maybe even a little of that wistfulness she usually reserved for Logan. Or maybe Original Cindy was just ad libbin' that one. The bottom line was that her friend was certifiably _over_ Logan. And from what Original Cindy could see, there was a suitable hot boy ready to step into his place. Even if they were both too pig-headed to see it for themselves.

"Alec, riddle me this: Have you ever considered maybe Logan isn't the one Max needs to be 'sortin things out' with?"

"Huh?" Alec's face clouded with misunderstanding and Cindy sighed in exasperation. Surely _he_ of all people, couldn't be _that_ innocent of what she was trying to say?

"I _mean_, Max and Logan are ancient history fool! How can you sit there and tell me you haven't noticed?" Another blank look. This was simply ridiculous. Had Max beaten him down so well that he couldn't stop to consider what was plain in front of his face? "Look, you're meant to be uber-intelligent right? Well, figure it out! Max has moved on from Logan. Period. The girl's too stubborn to realise it yet, but her sonar's already pickin' up a new bleep on the screen, if you know what I'm sayin'…"

"Oh." Alec's reply was neutral as he realised OC was trying to tell him Max had found someone else. His face was a mask of indifference as he shrugged. "Okay then."

"Ya still don't get it, do you?" Cindy signalled to the barman as he made a call for the last round. "Aiight, sit forward and listen up. I'll spell it out to you in plain English but you better tune your ears in coz Original Cindy's only gonna explain this once.."

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Twice Max made to leave, and twice she'd gone as far as the street before turning back, wary of who she might encounter along the way. Her symptoms were mild, for now. Considering she'd once thrown herself on _Normal_ of all people, and yet she figured she could handle being around most ordinaries without too much problem. Terminal City however, was a different matter. Oak Street in particular was home to X5. Genetically superior, and junked up on cat DNA. And she had to reach the end of it to reach the exit point. If being chalked up as another notch on Alec's belt could be devastating enough for her ego, mindless sex with any other transgenic to cross her path would be worse.

"Would it be so bad to have a one night stand with him? Really? It wouldn't have to _mean_ anything. What's a bit of casual sex between friends – adversaries – whatever!" Max paced the room, muttering aloud, as if by doing so she could obtain some kind of validation. Her comradeship with Alec was tedious at the best of times, but if there was one thing about him that she could rely on, it was his absolute lack of morality towards casual sex. It could've been the perfect way to deal with this, except that the thought of having a meaningless one night stand with Alec was, well, ridiculous at best.

"Ah who am I kidding? He'd never let me live it down!" She could envision it now. The smug comments he'd make. There was _no way_ they could spend a night together and forget about it afterwards. "Besides this is _Alec_ I'm talking about here! What the hell am I thinking?"

Miserable and flustered, Max returned to the fridge and grabbed another container of chilled water. Bad enough she was even considering having sex with Alec, creepier still that her body was so damn turned on by the notion.

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When Alec left the bar and began cautiously making his way back through the sectors and into Terminal City, his head was spinning with a mind full of new information. He understood now what Cindy had been trying to tell him – much as he couldn't believe it. While he'd entertained thoughts of hooking up with Max when they'd first met, he was well aware of the perimeter that had been established around their ambiguous friendship. She'd always made it loud and clear that he was out of her league, and despite the occasional fleeting fantasies, he'd accepted that. Not like he had any other choice.

Having reached Sector 12 without mishap (which was just as well considering Alec was so spun, he could've walked straight into a midnight ticker-tape parade full of NSA agents without noticing), the X5 now peeled aside and crawled through a gap in the fence of Terminal City and moved on autopilot as his brain continued to mull over Original Cindy's words. As he scooted through the shadows towards his apartment, he decided that at the end of the day, Max was still a stubborn, emotionally-repressed sadist with a tendency to sulk on cue, and he was still a charismatic, gorgeous, happy-go-lucky sociopath with a tendency to never stay with a girl longer than a single night.

They would be a disaster together.

In fact, most times, he couldn't manage to stick it out with a girl for an entire _night_ before he was pulling on his pants and crawling out a window. The more he thought about it, the more he was certain nothing ever would, could or should go on between them. Even if she was over Logan now, he didn't want to wind up being the person Max turned to, simply to try and forget the one she could never have. He didn't want to be her consolation prize.

With this resolution firmly in mind, Alec snapped out of his thoughts and stepped from the stairwell of the decaying TC building he'd entered, and into the third floor corridor. He stopped and blinked, looking around at his surroundings. This wasn't his place. He'd been so lost in thought, he'd travelled through Terminal City on autopilot and right into –

"Would it be so bad to have a one night stand with him? Really?"

The female voice travelled faintly to Alec from the room at the end of the corridor. He cocked his head to one side and listened. It was definitely Max's voice, definitely Max's apartment block. So, who was she talking to, and who was she talking about?

"Besides this is _Alec_ I'm talking about here! What the hell am I thinking?"

Alec's heart nearly stopped beating. She was talking about _him_? The cold rational voice of logic told him he should back away and return to his own room, but the bright perky voice of curiosity told him to creep forward and listen to whatever else she had to say about him. And who could say no to bright and perky? Especially when phrases like 'one night stand' and 'with Alec' were being bandied about by Her Royal Bitchiness of all people!

Grinning, Alec made his way cautiously forward and pressed his ear to the door, well aware that if Max discovered he was out here, she wouldn't just kick his ass. She'd impale him on the Terminal City flagpole.

**ll l lll ll l lll ll l lll ll l lll**

Once again, Max blinked away the visualisation of Alec and that damned blue towel and how fine he'd looked all dripping wet with it wrapped low around his waist and… _Noo!_ Desperately, she racked her brain for a plan, some way to combat this problem before she wound up smashing down his bedroom door. Who knew what she capable of doing to him in such a state?

A sound at the door caught her attention and in three strides she had crossed the room, grabbed the handle and pulled it open. At the same time, a body tumbled forward and slammed into her, sending them both flying to the ground in a tangle of limbs before either had a chance to register what had happened.

"What the –"

"Max, I am so sorry. I just thought I'd stop in and see if you were okay and –"

"Alec!"

"You know, you really should get that door fixed…"

Max shoved Alec away, unmindful of the fact that he was already trying to find his feet. "You can't be here!"

"Hey – ow! - I'm sorry!" He ducked and held his hands up in entreat as she began swatting at him. "Hey! I was just –"

"Listen dumbass, _you can't be here_! You've gotta go! Get out!"

Having given up on limited-contact swatting, Max grabbed Alec by an arm and began hauling him towards the door, but he wriggled about in her grasp in effort to peer over her shoulder. "Why Max, you have someone here?"

"No! Now shut up and get out!" Pressing her hands against his chest, Max tried to shove Alec backwards, but he grabbed hold of her arms and held his place as he continued to glance about the room behind her, in effort to spy out whoever she'd been talking to.

"C'mon Max, you can tell me. I'll keep ya secret."

"Asshole!"

Grinning now as she continued to try and edge him towards the door, Alec winked. "Guilty as charged. But c'mon, you've gotta tell me who you're talking to. Especially when I hear my name thrown in there..."

Max froze, her eyes wide as she looked to Alec in shock. Realising his mistake, he winced, released Max's arms and edged back towards the door, having made a quick decision that saving his hide was of far more importance than satisfying his curiosity. But Max sprang forward, grabbing a handful of shirt in her fists as she drove his back into the doorframe.

"What the hell did you hear?" The words were uttered through clenched teeth as she threatened him with a knee to the groin.

"Nothing! Honestly Max, I don't even know why I'm here! I was heading home and I just kinda found myself outside your door and…" God, the truth sounded lame even in his own ears. Alec decided to throw in the pleading puppy look. It'd never worked on Max before, but there was always a first.

"Wait, what do you mean _you just found yourself here_?" Max didn't need him to repeat himself to realise he was telling the truth. Obviously he'd come here because his senses had picked up her heat-driven pheromones. And now here they were, pressed up against each other, and he was staring at her all wide-eyed and innocent, and kinda sultry… And she was stalling while her brain tried to figure out what the hell she was going to do with him – rip off his limbs or his clothes..? Concentrate! _Concentrate!_

It wasn't working. This whole 'try to throw him out the door' thing. And oblivious to her inner turmoil, he was standing there babbling a string of excuses of which she had no particular interest in, while the only thing that held her back from ripping off his shirt right there and then was the thought of whether they could ever face each other afterwards. Somehow, in the foggy depths of her mind, it still seemed important…

Then the hands that had gone to her hips to push her away, now changed direction and pulled her closer. Finally, the way she'd been rubbing herself against him as he was busy blathering, had caused his brain to twig. That shut him up quick. After that, the whole question of how this could destroy their fragile friendship, _blah blah blah_… It just didn't matter anymore.

**TBC…**

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END NOTE: Well, this is as far as I got when I wrote this fic in 2004. I've made a start on chapter three, and now it's just down to deciding whether this fic is gonna end warm and fluffy, or all anguished and Heathcliff-like… ;) Okay, wait, when I say 'warm and fluffy' I'm totally kidding.

Any thoughts, suggestions, general feedback – always appreciated! :)


	3. Taking One For The Team

_A/N: You know what sucks? When you spend an hour trying to grind a couple hundred words out of your rusted up brain, congratulate yourself over how a couple of sentences actually sound okay, and the computer shuts down before you get the chance to save it. D'oh! Ah well, it could be worse... Same thing happened with an entire fic written in a middle-of-the-night sitting back in '03. I swear I cried and cried..._

_Anyway, thanks to the people who have left feedback, I really value your encouragement and critique! And also, it's lovely to know people are still so into DA. The show may be gone, but it lives on in fanfiction for as long as we continue writing it, right? :)_

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**Epiphany - Chapter 3**

**by Sorrow**

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"Wait, wait.. Hey woah there!" Alec yelped as the knee that Max had placed between his legs as a threat, now began to rub against him like a caress. And was… was she _purring_? "Max what are you –"

"Just shut up soldier boy!" Max snapped, as she slammed her body into his and pushed him harder against the door frame. She gripped his shirt tighter, all but wrenching it from his body.

Oblivious to the startled expression Alec was wearing as she pressed herself against his body, Max nuzzled her lips against his throat and thought hazily of how good he smelt. How had she never noticed before?

"Okay, the hell you doing Max?" Alec grabbed her by the shoulders and gently pushed her off him, holding her at arm's length as he eyed her dubiously. "I mean, much as I've spent many a night fantasizing this scenario, this isn't _you_."

Max flicked up her arms to break his grasp, and slipped closer once more, trailing one finger lightly along Alec's jawline while slipping her other hand around his waist. "So you've fantasized about me huh?"

Alec swallowed nervously, and tried to swat his head away. "Who hasn't?"

"Why don't you tell me about those fantasies Alec, and we'll see what we can do…"

"Jeezus Max…" Alec's words tapered off into a low frustrated groan as Max ran her hand along his zip and began to undo his jeans.

He hadn't lied when he told her he'd played out this scenario in his head on more than one occasion, but even in his head, it always ended with Max wising up and kicking his ass. Something he couldn't imagine being any different now.

Sucking in a deep assertive breath, he shoved Max to one side, blurred across the room, vaulted the couch and picked up a kitchen barstool; wielding it as a shield to deflect any further attacks.

"Okay, who are you, and what the hell've you done with Max?" Alec quirked an eyebrow at the scowling transgenic opposite him. "Look it's a serious question when we have clones! And who knows, maybe we even have clones of clo -"

"Shut up, dumbass!" Max stalked across the room, grabbed one leg of the barstool and attempted to wrench it out of his hands, her agitation growing when he refused to let go.

Alec hesitated. "Well, that's certainly something Max would say..." He cocked his head to one side and frowned. "But I'm still not buying."

"Stop being a jerk! You think a girl's not allowed to get horny every now and then?" Max was working on prising his fingers lose, but he clung on, white-knuckled and determined that no amount of hot monkey sex tonight would be worth the beating she'd give him tomorrow.

"Hey, far be it from me to stop a girl gettin' horny. But you're no ordinary girl, Max." Alec narrowed his eyes. "That is, if you really are Max..."

Huffing impatiently, Max pressed on. "Okay, so you don't have problem with ordinary girls - just if they're _transgenic_, huh?"

"No." Alec's voice was calm and steady as he deadpanned, "Just if they're _you_."

Max opened her mouth and closed it again, floored. Alec had frequently dropped flirty hints and innuendos. She'd never considered that maybe it was all just a front - that maybe he wasn't interested in her at all. In any other circumstance, she'd be relieved to know his feelings towards her were purely platonic, but here in this moment, his straight-faced honesty left her feeling crushed and bewildered.

"What I mean is..." Alec relaxed his grip on the bar stool and scrubbed a hand over his forehead as he noticed her reaction. His words had come out with more callousness than he'd intended; though they'd done the trick. Still, he wasn't expecting her to look as if the admission actually hurt.

"I mean, the Max _I_ know isn't like this. Not ever. Certainly not with me, and I bet not with Loggie-bear even before 'hands off' was non-optional. The Max I know is a total..."

"Bitch?" She offered knowingly.

"Actually, I was gonna say _prude_." Alec grinned. "But bitch works too."

"Screw you." Her temper flamed by indignation, Max threw herself forward with renewed vigor; wrestling the bar stool from Alec's white-knuckled hands, then shoving him backwards over the kitchen counter as she pushed her forearm against his throat. "I don't know why the hell I'm wastin' my time with you! I thought you'd be the obvious choice, but I guess the joke's on me huh?"

Releasing Alec, Max stepped back and placed one hand upon her jutted hip. "Your loss though. There's plenty more X5's in TC who'd be willing to help a girl out.."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Seriously Max? A one-night-stand with a random? Come on, as if you're the type."

Quirking an eyebrow, Max slung her thumb towards the door. "Get out."

Alec stood rooted to the spot, noticing for the first time her flushed complexion and the hungry desperation in her eyes. Twigging to what was going on with her at last, he hesitated, unsure if leaving her was a good idea after all. "Max, wait -"

"Out!" Lunging forward, Max grabbed Alec by the scruff of his jacket and dragged him towards the door, swung it open and flung him into the corridor. "Had your chance pretty boy - now it's gone."

Slamming the door in his face, she drove home the bolt and pressed her palms against the wood, taking deep breaths to regulate her breathing. Sensing Alec still on the other side, she pressed her forehead to the door and closed her eyes, reminding herself it was just as well things turned out the way they did, even as she willed herself not to wrench open the door and drag him back in again.

Shaking her heat-fogged head, Max tried to think rationally. She had to fight this! But the other side of her conscience argued; _what's the sense in fighting? Won't it just be easier to give in and enjoy yourself? _Yeah, easier said than done. Alec was immune to her crazed pheromones to the point of insult.

His rejection had wounded her more than she'd expected; tempering her heat more effectively then two-hundred sit ups and an ice bath. But in his mockery she'd found a challenge. Why did she need to choose Alec anyway? Because he was a familiar face? Because she figured he'd be up for a casual one night stand?

Feeling that warm tingle thread its way deliciously across her skin once more as a new wave of heat began to kick in, Max smiled lazily to herself. What _was_ the sense in fighting? There really were plenty of X5's who'd help her scratch this itch. And finding one at this hour wouldn't be too hard; if they were half as susceptible as Alec to picking up her heat-driven pheromones.

Unlatching the door, Max stepped out and met the hazel eyes of her own personal pain-in-the-ass as he stood across the corridor, arms tightly folded across his chest, troubled frown replacing his usual wry grin.

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Alec was well aware of a transgenic woman's heat cycle, but in the time that he'd known Max, he'd never seen her effected by it. Until now.

Knowing a heat-driven female would crawl across broken glass to get to a mate if it came down to it, Alec figured it wouldn't be too long until Max came barging through the door. Even her twisted holier-than-thou morals wouldn't stop her, in a neighbourhood surrounded by fellow transgenics. And he didn't plan on allowing her to smack a poor hapless X5 over the head and drag him back to her cave.

True to form, the door soon swung open and Max strutted out, her cheeks flushed and eyes holding a look of hungry desperation.

"Great. You again." She scowled as she pulled the door shut behind her and leant against it, as if trying to push herself into the wood.

"Hey Max." Alec nodded, ignoring her disdain. Ignoring the fact that she'd been the one to throw herself at him, yet now she was once again acting as if _he_ was the jerk in all of this.

"What are you still doing here?" Pushing away from the door, Max made a carefully controlled effort to move past him, her expression a mask of determination.

"What I've been doing all along Max." Stepping forward to block her exit, Alec offered a cryptic smile as he placed his hands upon her arms in stoic refusal to let her pass. "Trying to stop you from doing something you'll regret in the morning."

"The only thing I'd regret doing in the morning, is _you_." Max's tone was cold, even as she felt her skin heating beneath Alec's touch. "So how 'bout you step out of my way, before I do something _you'll_ regret."

Alec squared his jaw against her insults, and opened his mouth to deliver a retort when voices in the stairwell caught their attention, and they both froze as three male transgenics stepped in to the corridor; their conversation drying up as they realized they weren't alone.

"Ah great..." Alec muttered, as one of them stepped forward, eyes sharp as he took in the situation before him.

"Something wrong, 452?" The X5's tone held polite concern - until his senses began to pick up the charge in her chemistry and he stepped closer, eyes flicking from her to Alec in assessment of the competition.

"See you boys haven't learnt my name yet." Max dazzled him with a smile as she purred, "How 'bout I teach you a lesson?"

Alec rolled his eyes, keeping his grip on Max's arm tight and his tone light as he interrupted. "You know Max, no one's gonna be interested in going home with you when ya think foreplay is kickin' a guy across the room."

She flashed Alec a black look and hissed, "That's just a special class I reserve for you!"

Shaking off his grip on her arm, Max stepped towards the newcomer with a sultry swing to her hips and ran a light fingertip up his arm. "Care to come inside?"

The X5 smiled at the innuendo in her voice, and reached out to slide a hand around her waist.

"Not in this life time, jackass." In a blur of motion, Alec sprang forward and knocked the X5 away, pulling Max behind him. "Get the hell outta here chumps - that's an order." Fists tightened at his sides, he glowered at the newcomers, daring them to challenge his authority.

With curt nods, the two transgenics grabbed their comrade and pulled him back, recognizing the leadership in Alec's tone. Murmuring "Yes Sir" like the good ex-Manticore soldiers they were, the three retreated back into the stairwell, realizing their own adjacent apartment was not one they'd be returning to tonight. If ever.

Turning back towards Max, Alec stepped forward until their bodies nearly touched then brought his hands up to cup her chin, tipping her face towards him as his warmth melted her cold facade. "You really wanna do this Max? You really wanna bring home something even nastier than me?"

Max shrugged, ignoring the delicious shiver that ran through her body at his touch. "That one didn't seem so bad."

"You're an idiot." He growled, flicking her on the nose.

"You're jealous." Max smiled, her tone playful and breathless.

"Whatever." Alec sighed to the heavens as he nodded towards the door. "Let's get inside before any rampant nomolies swing by."

Stepping away, he took her hand and tugged her back towards her apartment, frowning as she resisted. "Aw come on Max, you can't seriously tell me you still intend on prowling the streets of Terminal City, do ya?" He averted his eyes from the predatory smile she flashed his way. "Cause I don't care if you're gonna try and kick my ass every which way 'til Sunday - it's not gonna happen."

"Moron." The insult rolled off her tongue as force of habit. "You think if we go back in that room together, I'll sit contritely while you babysit me all night? Not gonna happen." Max closed the gap until she was a hair's breadth before him. "No. If you go back in there with me, then you're _mine_ Pretty Boy. And you won't be running out on me this time."

"Actually," Alec paused to clear his throat, "You're the one who threw me -"

"Shut up!" Max snapped, but her hands took the edge off her tone as she ran them up his chest and wrapped them around the nape of his neck, drawing him closer. "You chased away the competition, you claimed me as your own. That's how it works, right?"

As Max's body pressed against him, Alec closed his eyes in resignation, knowing he was a doomed man. "Yeah, I guess so." His voice was hoarse with fear and longing. Yeah, he was a doomed, doomed man.

Growling in satisfaction, Max nuzzled her nose against his chin, whispering her lips against his throat. "Say it then."

"Say it? C'mon Max.." Alec muttered hazily; his mind drifting into the foggy depths of her pheromones. "...That's kinda cheesy don't you think?"

"I wanna hear you say it!" She demanded again, threatening him with nails against skin.

"Okay!" He groaned, dipping his head and grazing his lips across her collarbone, "Okay okay, I'll say whatever you want me to say. I'll tell you I want you and I'll claim you as my own, and when you're screaming at me for violating you and telling me to get out of your life, I'll submit and say yes, it was all my fault for being just the kind of jerk to take advantage of you.."

"You've got a valid concern there Alec." Max murmured before stepping back to grab the hem of her top and tug it over her head. "Maybe we shouldn't do this?" Her tone was challenging as she watched him drink her in with his eyes, then smiled slowly as she began tugging off his own shirt.

"S'okay Max." Alec's voice was husky with arousal as he grabbed her hips and pulled her against him. "Helping you out - taking one for the team - it's what I do. Kicking my ass is what you do. Least this time it comes with fringe benefits for both of us."

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"You're a sick man Alec!" Max seethed, anger radiating off her in waves as furious and driven as her heat. "I always knew you were depraved, but this is twisted even for you!"

Alec stretched his arms to the sky in a long lean yawn, slinging his feet against the edge of the bed as he settled back in his seat and readied himself for the longest night of his life. "Hate me all you like Max, but like I already said; you'll thank me for this in the morning."

"Asshole! I thought we had a deal!"

"See that's the problem." Alec replied tersely. "Sex isn't a business transaction. Not for me." He paused, thinking of last week's busty blonde and the generous tip he'd left her. "Well, I mean not anymore..."

"Whatever!" Max shrieked, "Sex is like candy to you! Since when have you cared who's handing it out or how it's delivered, long as you can get your hands on some!?"

"Bleat all you like." Jamming his iPod speakers into his ears, Alec sank his head against the back of the chair, stared up at the ceiling and cranked the volume as the Cult began to play. "Can't hear you."

_Wound up, can't sleep, can't do anything right, little honey_  
_Oh, since I set my eyes on you_  
_I tell you the truth_

'Yeah.' He chuckled to himself as he hummed along. 'Ian Astbury must've had a Max of his own."

_T-t-t-t-twistin' like a flame in a slow dance, baby_  
_You're driving me crazy_  
_Come on, little honey_  
_Come on now_

Tied down to the bed, and completely immobilized, Max continued to carry on throwing out insults and harping on like Linda Blair at her best. She couldn't believe this - couldn't believe Alec could do this to her! She thought she had him in the bag, and he'd set her up! Lousy, slimy piece of...

_Fire_  
_Smoke, she is a rising fire, yeah_  
_Smoke on the horizon, well_

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'Trust me Maxie, you'll thank me for this...' He'd whispered in her ear, his voice full of promises and seduction as he'd laid kisses along each arm as he bound her to the bed. Full of anticipation, she'd allowed him - expecting something else. Something that'd blow her mind. But it was all smoke and mirrors; a ploy he'd used to restrain her once he realized the only way he could keep her from doing something she'd regret, was to take away her choice in the matter.

Not that it didn't take every last fragment of his self-control to stop himself from giving in and damning the consequences in the morning... Specially when he knew he'd be damned in her eyes either way.

And maybe once upon a time, that's exactly what he would've done. But he knew now that somewhere upon the lines, being in the outside world with Max to keep him on track - it had changed him. And regardless of how she felt about him, or how he felt about her, he'd _always_ have her back.

All he hoped was that one day, she'd open her eyes and recognize that for herself.

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**End Notes:**

I'd like this to be a fic where both Max and Alec experience profound realizations about themselves/each other, but on the chance I lose motivation for this fic before I get that far, I figured I'd give this chapter an ending that could be an ending. What do you think? Want more to this story, or have ya had enough?

By the way, if anyone wonders why I sometimes write 'realised' and other times 'realized', it's because I'm from New Zealand and we write often use an 's' where other countries use a 'z'. Normally I don't correct my NZ way of spelling to fit in with anyone else, but this time around I have. I'm sick of this US spellcheck putting wavy red lines beneath my NZ words. :P


	4. Always the Bad Guy

A/N: I have this tendency to alternate angst with humor (or a lame attempt at humor) all within the same story. I did it with No Need to Argue, and She Asked For It, and I'm doing it again now. Am I supposed to chose a tone and stick with it? Probably. But I can't. I'm sorry about that...

* * *

**Epiphany - Chapter 4**

**by Sorrow**

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_"Why am I always the bad guy with you, Max?"_

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It had been the longest, most sexually frustrating night of Alec's life. After three hours of enduring Max while she alternated between threatening castration and pleading for satisfaction, he found himself unbuckling his belt and faced with the decision of whether to proceed with his jeans or just use the belt to hang himself. Fortunately a third option popped into his slightly-manic mind while he was searching for an overhead fixture to loop the belt through.

It was surprisingly simple. He just needed to find someone else to step in and take over. Someone who could not be lured by Max's heat-crazed demands. It was a foolproof plan, and once he'd put the wheels in motion, Alec was almost convinced he'd be able to keep every single one of his body parts intact afterwards. Because the last thing he wanted to do was ask for Logan's help in rustling up a false identity and skipping the country.

So he arranged for someone else - someone who they both trusted - to ice her down and stop her from choking on her own tongue, while he stood guard outside the apartment. And then once he was sure Max's heat had broken and she was safe, he made his way back to his own place so he could catch an hour of sleep before the wild cat could track him down and unleash her wrath.

After a full two hours of floor pacing and ducking behind his couch each time he heard a sound in the hallway, Alec finally decided it was time to face his personal demon. He just hoped he'd be able to find her in as public a location as Terminal City could offer - much less chance of Max murdering him, if there were witnesses.

"Hey guys, anyone seen Max around?" Alec sauntered into Command and looked around at the half dozen transgenics, none of whom seemed willing to meet his eyes.

None of course, except for Mole, whose grin was so wide, his cigar was in danger of dropping out of his mouth. "What, didn't think to check if she was still under the bed sheets before you crept out at the ass-crack of dawn?"

Alec frowned, clearly puzzled. "How would you know whether.."

"Mole knows everything." The transhuman grinned harder and deftly caught the cigar as it fell, jamming it back into his mouth before turning his attention back to his shotgun.

The third-person reference caused Alec to startle. Obviously his comrade had been hanging out with Original Cindy far more than he realized. "Yeah well, it didn't happen like that."

"Uh huh." Clearly disbelieving, Mole gave his gun one last loving polish before placing it down and reaching for another.

"Whatever man." Alec shrugged and glanced out the window towards Max's apartment block. He wasn't gonna waste his time trying to explain. Besides, transgenics were a slave to their animal DNA, and there were a couple of X5's sitting in Command who could be a problem for Max, given the givens.

Ignoring the knowing glances of the others in the room, Alec turned and headed back to the apartment he'd left only a couple of hours earlier. He knew she was going to flip this all around and make it his fault, in typical Max fashion. Hell, he'd be surprised if she were to deal with it in any other way. And better to get it over and done with now, than let her drag it out with sulky glares and stinging barbs for the rest of his life. Ah hell, she was gonna do that anyway. Water off a duck's back, right?

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_Well, here goes nothing._ Without bothering to knock, Alec swung open Max's apartment door and sauntered in, but his happy-go-lucky facade was quickly erased by the screaming tirade he found himself facing as Max shot in front of him and slammed a fist into his forever-bruised shoulder.

"You bought OC into Terminal City! Alec what were you thinking, taking that kind of risk?"

"What was I thinking?" Alec echoed, dumbfounded. He rubbed his shoulder and darted out of her reach, sparing a glance towards Original Cindy who leant against the kitchen bench, a look of pained exasperation on her face. Seems she'd already talked her voice raw in effort to make Max see reason. And still to no avail.

"Max, I was thinking about _you_. Two hours stuck around you in heat and I couldn't take it anymore! I had to get someone else to watch over you otherwise I was gonna..."

Max blanched at Alec's unspoken words, then quickly looked away to avoid acknowledging the look that crossed his face when he noted her reaction. It wasn't an expression normally associated with Alec. Hurt? Dejection? _Whatever._ She didn't want to name it, let alone figure how to deal with it. "So you thought bringing Cindy into this toxic dump would be a good decision?"

"Actually, yes." Alec gave her a long level look. "I organised a safe escort for her into TC, and she was willing to take the health risk. Or would you have preferred if I'd just left you alone... for someone with less scruples than me to find?"

"Someone with less scruples than _you?_" Max snorted, and even though she knew her words were so utterly wrong, she couldn't stop herself from saying them anyway. Afraid of the alternative - having to admit her overall impression of Alec had been so ballsed up, for so long. "Gee, I find that hard to believe."

She stopped when she noticed Alec had closed his eyes as if searching inwardly for his happy place, while muttering beneath his breath. She tilted her head, perplexed, until she realized he was slowly counting.

"..eight.. nine.. ten." Alec released a long slow breath as his eyes snapped open. It hadn't helped. The anger was still there. And so was Max. He sighed. She was staring at him quizzically - maybe even a little apprehensively - and _that_ almost brought an ill-timed smile to his face. He swallowed it back down and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"No matter what I do, I'm always gonna be the bad guy with you." It was a closing statement rather than a question, and without waiting for any further retort, he moved past her to the stairwell.

Max stared after him, a small tendril of understanding unfurling within her, but too little and too late for her to move to stop him - besides, she was too damn stubborn to admit it anyway. Even to herself.

"Boo, I have a few choice words to say to you about your boy, but I don't think you're ready to hear them yet."

Max jumped at the voice and frowned at her inattention. Original Cindy had come up behind her to stand in the doorway, and she hadn't sensed the sound and movement behind her. The transgenic squared her jaw as she swept past her friend and back into her apartment. "Don't know what you're talking about."

"Ya never do." Cindy shook her head and trailed after her, into the kitchen. For a minute she watched silently as Max began preparing coffee for the two of them. Her girl was stubborn, for sure. But this just took the cake.

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_**Footnote: **A very short chapter I'm sorry, but my muse has left me kinda floundering in deep space at the moment! I hope you've enjoyed what's here anyway, and please leave your feedback if you like or hate it. As much as I'd love to say I don't write for reviews, that's only a half truth. Feedback is a _great _motivator if I know people are actually interested in reading my stuff! :)_


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